I am White.

I am White, but I am becoming increasingly aware that I have no idea what that means and how desperately I want it to actually mean something. How can I, a white American from the affluent Northern Suburbs of Chicago relate to anyone of a different ethnicity and culture if I do not first know and own who I am?
I am Angry because I recognize that the depths and sphere of institutional racism permeate into the circle of my community, my education and even my personal relationships with others. I see the brokenness of the the world around me but feel helpless to change the circumstances that promote this type of society.
I am Hopeful that, despite my current frustration and anger, God is still working and changing the world as well as my heart. He is inspiring and motivating, and although I am not quite at the point of action, he is beginning a work in me that will change me forever. I cannot unlearn what knowledge I have gained and because of that, I will continue to be broken for the oppressed and the marginalized until the work of reconciliation is done-- until we are reconciled to one another as a people united under God.

...of a community, a church and it's history

I'm in Chicago!! I have arrived! After months of praying and anticipation I am finally here. I'm here, after a week of camp training, "getting to know you" games, and telling the stories of my life, exhausted. While I am very tired, I also have great expectations for my experiences this month. I'm here in North Lawndale as an Intern for International Teams in Chicago. My internship experience includes both interactions with local churches as I serve as a Team Leader for their Camp Champ Day Camp program as well as interactions with the city, the community and discussions, discussions, independent study and reflections on topics such as race, social justice, poverty and oppression and how they relate to the Message of Jesus.
Before I embark on the process of sharing my journey with you, I want to provide you with the historical lens which allows us to see the neighborhoods of North and South Lawndale as they exist today. This is a simple abbreviated history, but I think it is helpful for understanding the issues and struggles the neighborhood faces on a daily basis:
North Lawndale was organized in 1857 as a Part of Cicero Township and was crossed by a French and Indian potrage to that is now Ogden Ave. It is one of the few cities roads that runs diagonal rather than in the block structure, but was maintained because of its historical function and significance. The name Lawndale was supplied by a real estate firm that subdivided the area in 1970. In 1989 North Lawndale was completely annexed by Cook County and in 1890 the completion of the Garfield branch of elevated train, splitting South and North Lawndale in two. By 1910's the Population doubled due to Sears, Roebuck and co. supplying 10,000 jobs and Western Electric Company's plant on the border of Cicero and North Lawndale. The neighborhood was, at that time, 1/2 of the population was Russian Jewish and by 1930 the population rose to 112,000. As Jews began to migrate to Northern communities in the 1940's and 50's, African-Americans began arriving in Chicago. This caused what is known as "white-flight"; due to racial fears manipulated by realtors, the white community and African Americans who had the means, left the city leaving the population 91 percent African- American. In 1968, riots following Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination caused the Roosevelt Road shopping strip to be destroyed. Between the years of 1950 and 1970 North Lawndale lost somewhere around 75 percent of its business establishments and 25 percent of its jobs. In the 1970 and 80s the population decreased by 60,000 to 61,534. In 1987, Sears Roebuck closed completely and dismissed 1800 people leaving the population by 1990 at just over 47,000, 43 percent under 21 yrs. and 44 percent below poverty level.
So...that's quite a history lesson, but I think it has helped my understanding of the neighborhood and its circumstances greatly. The Church that I will be working with this summer, Westlawn Gospel Chapel, has been in this neighborhood for over 50 years and it's connections throughout the city are boundless. The past few years, Westlawn has partnered with 2 churches from South Lawndale, otherwise known as La Villita (Little Village), to do their summer camps. This may seem something not out of the norm for many, but in these neighborhoods it is something that represents great strides in terms of community. La Villita is the largest Latino neighborhood in the city and tensions between both La Villita and North Lawdale are strong. 3 churches unifying despite their cultural tension represents something huge in this area. I am so excited to be a part of it.
As (Bethany, Kait, Caitlyn, Tiffany, Park, Dan and I) talk about "Our Stories" and how we came to be the people we are as a result of our pasts and we discuss the histories of the places we are this summer, I am challenged to think critically about how race and culture are a huge part about the history here, and are not a huge part of my own history. I am white, very white. Unfortunately, that means that because I am a part of the majority, I have never had to ask myself "what does it mean to be white?" My identity has never included my race because I have never identified with anything but the majority "culture" of white, middle class America. As I continue to ask this question, I would love to hear your thoughts, input, discoveries, and stories if you would share them with me. I read today that "...we are in a story, like it or not. But always, for people like you and me and all humanity, we are in the middle of the story." I will be sharing parts of my story here and I would love to hear about parts of yours as well!

Until next time,
Sam

Of God and Trees

Tonight I had a conversation with a friend about God. This is a fairly common occurrence with the majority of my friends, but this conversation in particular is stuck in my head. I find myself chewing on ideas as a cow chews upon it's cud. As I digest, I hope to share some ideas that are leaving a bit of residue.
Our conversation, or at least this portion of it, was focused on the variables of our Christian tradition and how we, as humans, attribute God with our wants and desires. We talked about how our perspective of Christ changes depending on what we wish him to be. In someways I found myself taken aback, defensive, wanting to claim that this as impossible. But all the while, I knew that I often attribute God to those things I wish him to be...the things I need him to be.
During the conversation I sat on my porch swing gazing out at my backyard. Listening to my friend on the other line, I glanced up at the massive tree that sits just on the other side of the fence that separates my yard from my neighbors. Looking up at the tree, I realized something. I have looked at that tree my whole life, marveling at its design, the intricate weave of its branches, the way it stands there with a certain wisdom about it. Although I have seen it, observed it and watched it since the first day I came to live at that house, I have only seen that one side of the tree. I have never seen it from any other angle except for that of the view from my back yard. I have only seen it from this perspective because, for one, I cannot physically see the whole tree at once. Even from a birds eye view I would fail to be able to observe it's roots or into its core. Secondly, I have never rounded the block to attempt to view it from another perspective. There has never been a pressing need to see it from another direction, in a different light.
What if God is like that. For one, we cannot physically comprehend God in God's entirety. Our human minds cannot fathom the depths of his wisdom, the oceans of his mercy and love, the scope of his being. And secondly, what if our human understanding of God is a matter of perspective? Can I see God in a way from my perspective without truly knowing how another may understand God? I think so. This does not mean, however, that Truth is a matter of perspective. This tree is a tree, there is no changing that. In an even more concrete way, God is still God, unchanging. He is the same from day to day. All of the "variables" of Faith are a matter of perspective, but the Truth, the unchanging God who is the same today as he was yesterday and will be tomorrow, is still found in the reality that is God and the reality of the death and resurrection of his Son.
So, maybe tomorrow I will venture to the other side of the fence and see what that tree looks like from my neighbors yard, after all, it is a beautiful tree and I have come to find a great comfort in it. I desire to see it from as many perspectives as possible. If I could, I would ask a worm what it looks like from underground and a bird what it looks like from high above. In that same way, if I pursue God in his muti-faceted being, how much more will I appreciate who God is? Regardless of my perspective or the variables that my perspective allows for, that does not change what is ultimately True.